Victim Vs Victor: Which one are you?

ictim Vs Victor

Life is a battleground and the difference between a victim and a Victor is clear. The victim is shackled by excuses self-pity and an external locus of control, believing that life is something that ‘happens’ to them. The Victor, on the other hand, is forged in the fire of accountability, self-mastery and resilience. Their outlook is one of possibility, not limitation. And here’s the real kicker. No one is coming to save you.

The Positional Stances of a Victim and a Victor

A Victim stands in a place of helplessness, looking outward for rescue, support and excuses. They believe the world owes them something and resent those who have taken control of their lives. The Victim wants pity instead of progress and often manipulates others into carrying their burdens.

A Victor stands in a place of ownership, recognising that no one else will build that empire for them. They take responsibility for their choices, their failures and ultimately, their triumphs. The Victor is independent, adaptable and always finds a way forward, even in the face of adversity.

The Inner Dialogue and Self-Talk that Shape Destiny

The Victim’s Inner Dialogue:

• “ Why is this happening to me?”

• “It’s not my fault.”

• If only someone would help me, I’d be okay.”

• “I can’t do this on my own.”

• “Life is unfair.”

The Victor’s Inner Dialogue:

• “ What can I do to change this?”

• “ This is my responsibility.”

• “I will find a way, no matter what.”

• “I don’t need anyone to rescue me. I am my own saviour.”

• “Life Is a game and I’m playing ro win.”

The Reality Check: No one Owes You Anything

Unless you are a powerless child, a vulnerable elder, a helpless animal or bravely dealing with a disability, the truth is no one owes you their time, energy or resources. Expecting others to carry you emotionally, financially or professionally is a form of parasitism. Harsh? Maybe. But reality doesn’t care about your feelings.

Too many people have been conditioned to believe that someone else should be their rock, their safety net or their rescuer. But that’s a fallacy. The weight of your life belongs on your shoulders. The minute you expect others to constantly lift you, you’ve already lost.

The Hidden Manipulators: A Message to the Users

There are individuals who do not stand tall on their own but rather leverage and siphon the strength, intellect and resources of others to advance themselves. They hide in the shadows, playing the long game of using people as pawns for their own self-serving agendas because they lack the skills and ability to do anything for themselves. If you recognise yourself in this, understand this: people are aware of your tactics and the time will come when your house of cards collapses.

Manipulating others to do your bidding while you sit back and reap the rewards? That’s a coward’s game. And eventually, those you use will see through you, cut you off and move on. A Victor creates value but manipulator drains it. The choice is yours.

Victim vs Victor: The Science of Success and Happiness

Studies on happiness and success indicate a clear divide between the two mindsets:

• A 2018 Harvard Business Review study found that individuals who take full responsibility for their actions are 32% likely to succeed in business and career endeavours than those who blame external forces.

• A 2020 study published in Psychological science found that people who view themselves as victims report 37% lower life expectation and 22% higher rates of anxiety and depression than those who adopt a self-employed mindset.

• Research on business performance from the University of California showed that entrepreneurs who embrace a Victor mindset generate 45% more revenue and are twice as likely to sustain long-term success compared to those who rely on external support.

Recognising Where You’re Sabotaging Yourself

If you:

• Constantly blame others for your misfortunes.

• Expect sympathy instead of taking action.

• Rely on people’s goodwill to get ahead.

• Feel resentful toward those who succeed where you’ve failed.

• Use people instead of creating your own value.

Then it’s time for a wake-up call. You are sabotaging yourself. You are your own problem. And that’s GOOD NEWS because if you are your problem, you are also your solution.

The Path Forward: Stop Waiting, Start Building

1. Cut the Excuses: No more complaining about what’s unfair. The world doesn’t care. What will YOU do?

2. Own Everything: Your failures, your habits, your mindset, everything. The more you own, the more power you gain.

3. Stop Expecting Rescue: No mentor, friend or employer is obligated to fix your life. Take responsibility for yourself.

4. Build Yourself Up: Train your mind, strengthen your resilience, develop valuable skills. Be undeniable.

5. Eliminate Manipulation: if you’ve been leaning on others to get ahead, stop. Start standing on your own two feet before people start cutting you off.

6. Surround Yourself with Victors: Ditch the Victim mentality crowd. Iron sharpens iron. Find people who push you to grow, not those who enable your weakness.

Final Thought: You have two Choices

You can wake up today and decide to be a Victor, to take control, take responsibility and create your own success.

Or, you can keep blaming, waiting and manipulating until life finally gives you back exactly what you have given – nothing.

One path leads to power, self-respect and financial and emotional independence.

The other? Weakness, resentment and eventual irrelevance.

The choice is yours.